For My Brother!

I don’t know how to feel right now

I feel like I wanna scream

Cry

Laugh and Shout all at the same time

I don’t know what to do without you

I feel soo much pain knowing I wasn’t there in your last moments

It eats me up inside

On a daily basis

Mentally crying every night

Even when I’m meant to be happy

I feel like I should be dead right now

But God gave me another chance

And I don’t know why

Maybe you could ask him for me

You see I’m holding back tears

Whilst writing this

Stuck in this stinking gambling house

I don’t deserve to be here

Yet I am

You deserve to be here

Yet your not

And it’s cutting me up inside

I have soo many regrets

I feel so much hurt and anger

I don’t know how to let it all out

I’m a broken man

Torn like I’m the bishop caught in the of heart a locket beauty

All this emotion oozing in my body I don’t know if it’s good for me

I feel like I’m going to explode

I’m trying my hardest not to break down right now

It’s difficult I feel like a bad friend for not being there when it mattered the most

And for not coming to check you when you feel alone

4pm on a Sunday afternoon

The day after your birthday

And I’m reduced to tears in a dirty toilet

I don’t think I can do this anymore

I mean I miss you more and more

I can’t hold in the tears anymore

Thinking to comfort eat

Like that’s gonna be any help at all

I guess, I mean I guess I really can’t articulate my feels at all

This feels like hell

Like my heart is burning

And my mind is on loop

Thinking if you loved

If you even got the chance to

To know what this feeling I’m feeling

Is really like

I wish we could still talk about it

If only you were here today

I hope you can hear when I pray

I think I need you now more than ever

But you watching up from above lll settle on

One of my closest friends

And I don’t even wanna pretend that it’s easy

But things are getting better and easier

Maybe next week I’ll be able to cope?

Kwamesayss

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