Mind state I

If it was physical it would have been okay

If it was sexual it would have been okay

See this pain is emotional

It resides from inside

Heartbroken

Mind gone

I don’t know what to do

If it was physical abuse it would have been okay

If it was sexual abuse it would have been okay

Emotional abuse we don’t see like that

Maybe it’s the pigment of my skin

Or the origins of my past

I cried and I cried

I’ve tried and I’ve tried

This ain’t even a cry for help no more

Because all your going to do

Is tell me that’s how it is

Skeletons in the closet

I guess it ain’t worth opening up

But if I talk about this pain

And the fact I won’t commit

It’s a madness

Blood spatter

It’s a cold world dawg

I feel this pain

I wanna die

It’s a cold world dawg

I can say a lot

But not a lot

Because this is how you made me

Last time I trust that nigga he played me

In your mind it’s just a fabulous life

I’m an OG in this game but yet a young mother fucker

That line flipping hurts me I don’t know what to do

Can’t tell you why either

Coz If it was physical it would have been okay

If it was sexual it would have been okay

See this pain is emotional

It’s resides from inside

So if I tell you

I’m literally ripping my heart out

Cut myself the other day I didn’t even fucking care

I knew it was gonna happen

It wasn’t even a mare

But the state I’m in

I’m in a crazy little pickle

A love like no other

Unconditional it should be

Emotionally it’s not

So the classic line

“That’s just how it is”

Plays in my mind

Plenty of times

Over again

And over again

That’s why I picked up my pen

Let out my depression

See a black man in counselling

That shit ain’t right

But if we can’t have a grown ass conversation

Why the fuck I need you for

Oh yeah I know we really poor

Why you think I’m trapping for

Don’t you know that life’s insane

Crazy in fact

Truth is I never thanked you

I gots to thank 2

If it was physical it would have been okay

If it was sexual it would have been okay

See this pain is emotional

It’s resides from inside

Memories fade over time

So much pain cuts the line

Eli thoughts

Thinking of snowfall in this mother fucker

Can’t take command it’s a dangerous life to live

Couldn’t risk having a wife and kids

The fallacies that come in

Heartbreaking when your at a cross road

Excruciating pain

I can’t even admit

I’m sick to my lip

By a boy that she thought she could trust

IPA brew dog on the side

Reminiscing on the old days

By the time I started listening to this you said Real bought Ronaldo

Some crazy times

I did some shit

O silly shit

Quinn really Shit

I’m just on me shit

O I’m gone be shit

That’s more you’ll never know shit

Bro i knew from 16 I gone be shit

To many shits for you

I couldn’t care less

Careless

I was careless

I should have cared less

Numb to the soul

Shots to the Dom

Hand to the blade

Crazy insane

It’s crazy insane

Who would have thought

To lost in thoughts

Memories fade

Patiently wait

Saviour I crave

Freedom I want

Past transgressions

My depression

Learnt some lessons

It’s a blessing

On this mission

Clear intuition

No need for a smith Weston

If it was physical it would have been okay

If it was sexual it would have been okay

See this pain is emotional

It resides from inside

Every moment I cry

Is like a wasted line

Wasting time

Wait in line

Wait your turn

3rd in line

Defunct effect

Different guy

Diligent mind

Stories to tell

Stuck in this realm

Impulsive I go

Feeling this pain

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